SoD Won

I read (well, skimmed really) everything already written for the SoD fic, plotted the remaining chapters more thoroughly and then wrote 4 pages of the next chapter. Then decided it was a good time to find the song Rain said would work really well for it. I found it and I love it. 'What about now?' by Chris Daughtry. I've actually ordered the CD because I like it so much lol. Anyway, it would have fitted perfectly for the fic, had I listened to it before I started this chapter. Now, it doesn't fit so well because of what's already been said. So, I have three choices:
1. I re-write the chapter to make the song fit.
2. I try and add the song in to the next chapter (or maybe an additional chapter).
3. Write a one-shot with the song, along the lines of SoD. Just, compressed, from 56k+ words (that's online already, final few chapters excluded) to around, oh, a few pages worth.
I'm going to try for number 2, but I will only use it if it really fits. But I do really want to use it.

Back to the changes I'm making. I can talk about it now, or some of it anyway, some I'd rather not still. But basically, after being a member of Mettle for 2 years, and a leader for 18 months on top of that, I've decided it's time to leave.

I've not regretted any of it. It's been an awesome learning curve for me, both as a member and a leader. But I feel that its time to move on. I never had a break between roles, and after 3 and a half years, it's time to do something different.

The different isn't going to happen for several months. At least after Easter, and possibly not until the summer or fall. However, I'm happy I've made the right choice and leaving now (well, the end of February) is right. I could easily say 'Oh, I'll leave at the end of the school year' but I don't think that's right. I knew just saying it was going to be hard, and it was a bit, but I felt really calm about it too. I know I'm doing the right thing and whatever comes next is in God's hands.

Changing Pace

I think it's very easy to end up in the same routine you're always in and not realise its a rut before things start going wrong. Well, I think things are about to change for me. I went to bed at midnight last night, completely exhausted, expecting to be asleep within minutes. But instead I had some unsettling thoughts and couldn't sleep.

Thoughts that have brought me to create this new blog to go with them. Hardly anything has changed for me in the past three years. And I think I'm ready for it now. I'm not someone who likes change a whole lot. I tend to resist it, prefering the familier. But when I know its time for me to change, to do something different, well, I do. I'm at that point now. I need to do something different, I want to be doing something different. I don't want this year to be the same as the year before, or the year before that.

So. What does this mean for me? Well, honestly I'm not entierly sure yet. Certain things I'm fairly certian I'm going to do, I can't talk about yet. Others, well, I'd rather keep to myself for the time being. But, one thing I do know, is that I can trust God with it. One decision in particular is a very hard one for me to make. But at the same time I'm sure its the right one. It was the one that kept me up last night, one I hadn't realised I was even considering. But when it hit me, there was a...I'm not even sure what. But its something that hasn't changed for years, something thats been a major part of the last few years for me. And yet, I didn't automatically throw the idea away, instead I was thinking about how to go about it, and what it would mean for certain things.

And thats how I know its time for a change. Not the little changes that I've been thinking of the past few weeks, but real change. Time to actually do something. Time to step away from some of the things that have been holding me back, clinging to the past. Hense the new blog :)